My tea's gone cold, I'm wonder why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad
Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in Autumn, you must not have got them
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
Sometimes I scribble addresses to slobby when I jot them
But anyway, fuck it, what’s been up man? How's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I’m 'bout to be a father!
If I have a daughter, guess what I’m gonna call her? I'm gonna name her Bonnie
I read about your uncle Ronnie too, I’m sorry
I had a friend who killed himself over some bitch that didn't want them
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m your biggest fan!
I even got the underground shit that you did with scam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with druckis too, that shit was bad
Anyway, I hope you get this man
hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, this is your biggest fan...
this is Stan
Dear slim, you still ain't called or wrote,
I hope you have a chance…
I ain't mad, I just think it’s fucked up you don't answer fans.
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside the concert, you didn't have to
But you could have signed an autograph for Mathew,
That’s my little brother man, he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you for four hours and you just said no.
That’s pretty shitty man, your like his fuckin' idle
He wants to be just like you, man! He likes you more than I do!
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like begin lied to
Remember when we met in Denver?
You said if I write you, you would write back!
See I’m just like you in a way...
I never knew my father neither, he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her!
I can relate to what your saying in your songs!
So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put them on cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I’m depressed
I even got a tattoo with your name across the chest!
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds,
Its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me,
See everything you say is real, and I respect you because you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous because I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you slim...no one does,
She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I’ll be the biggest fan you ever lose!
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. We should be together too
Dear Mr. I'm too good to Call or Write My Fans!
This will be the last package I ever send your ass!
It's been six months and still no word!
I don’t deserve it!
I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on them perfect!
So this is my cassette I’m sendin' you, I hope you hear it!
I'm in a car right now...I'm doin' 90 on a freeway!
Hey slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "Through the Air of the Night"?
About that guy who could have saved that other guy from drownin' but didn't?
And Phil saw it all and at a show he found him?
That's kind a how this is, you could have rescued me from drownin'!
But now it's too late, I’m on a 1000 downers now, I’m drowsy
And all I wanted was a lousy letter or call
I hope you know, I ripped all your pictures off the wall
I love you slim! We could have been together!
Think about it, you ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about